I have been for the last oh foreverrrr. Okay not forever. But in Mormon years, it has been a completely unacceptable time. Enter quarter life crisis -here- and then listen to my long sigh and watch me emotionally eat and pour myself a big tall diet coke.
As if it isn't bad enough, now I get to listen to Taylor Swift torture me slowly right now. It's my own fault really. I mean, no one else hit the "buy song" button on itunes just now. I need a different song. Some cheap club hit. Music rehab.
Reasons for my slight freak out:
1. 10 year high school reunion is in less than FIVE years. (I had to do that math on my cell phone...thank you very much high school algebra...proving my point of your insignificance in the lives of Americans everyday...)
2. It's bad enough when your mormon friends get married. We're supposed to be the crazy early marriage folk who will go to the Temple the day we get our driver's licenses (in some states), but now my non-mormon friends are almost all married. Not okay.
3. My friends are MAKING PEOPLE. I just learned how to make chicken noodle soup. Let alone make a person...
4. I'm transferring to my 3rd college in 5 years.
5. Attorney's are taking my car away since my car is in my dad's name. So now I get to either take my mom's beautiful car that she worked soooo hard for and watch her once again sacrifice for me, or figure out a way to come up with a down payment and find a job to pay for a new car while going to school full time. Dear California, you have a GREAT legal system. Seriously...top notch. It TOTALLY makes sense to take someone's car when the owner had literally the best credit score you could have and owes no money.
6. Seriously contemplating returning to my natural hair color. Secret's out.
7. I seem to unintentionally fall for the unavailable. WHAT is with that?! I've done the "long distance thing." The "emotional fu**wit" thing. The "on the prowl provo basket case douche bag" thing. The "bad boy" thing. The "rebound" thing. The "I don't care, I'm just gonna let fate decide" aka the "WTF was I thinking?!" thing. And my very favorite...the "waiting for a missionary" thing which ended up being the "wow you're home, but my gut tells me this isn't right" thing which turns into the "I hate you forever, you broke my heart" thing. DO NOT let me do the "he has an on again off again ball and chain" thing. I'm tempted. But mama don't play that game.
8. Everyone knows how much I adore Garrett Harding. He is one of the best friends I have, truly cares and is as loyal as a puppy, and can make me laugh no matter what. What I don't love? Look at the blog list he follows:
- adam.angie
- adam.jamie.
- anson.tennille.
- beau.camie.
- blaise.devri.
- brandon.becky.
- brandon.kyjah.
- caleb.annie.
- clark.josue.
- colton.whitney.
- creighton.melissa.
- dallen.kally.
- dan.tami.
- dusty.jenny.
- jared.tonya.
- jeff.amber.
- jeremy.ruth.
- john.kim.
- justin.abbey.
- kevin.aubrey.
- mike.heidi.
- nicole.
- richard.jena.
- ryan.taryn.
- sam.kyrsten.
- shane.hailey.
- spence.amber.
- spencer.molly
- sterling.sarah.
- trevor.angie.
Really? Out of that whole list, I am the only unmarried one? That's the equivalent of showing up to Prom 200 pounds overweight, barfing in the bathroom, having to be driven by your date's mom, with a huge zit on your nose, and your date is the dweeb who eats paper.
Hahahahaha okay, it's actually not that bad. I just had a vision. THAT would be sad.
9. Friends I have come to trust, are showing their true colors. Trust is gone. And eyes are opened. You live and you learn right?
10. I'm laying in bed at my home in California looking at my blank walls and realizing I actually live in Provo. Prepare the oxygen tank cuz I'm about to hit the floor.
HOWEVER, clarity is coming, plans are being made, lessons are being learned and a woman is being molded into a wiser person. It's time for an inner makeover. I'm weeding out the crappy friends. I'm dating, going out, having no expectations. I'm focusing on school, work and the work ethic my family raised me with. I'm diving into everything and anything spiritual, standing on holy ground, and surrounding myself with spirit led, Christ-like people. And I gotta tell ya, the past few days, I'm kind of okay with not getting married anytime soon. It's me time. And all about family. My family is my FIRST priority and will always be first priority.
I'm liking this plan.
R
