Come what may, and love it

The decision to move home from Utah had been an uphill battle. I admit, I didn't have my own personal opinion that it was the right choice for me. I seriously did not want to move home. I was solely trusting the opinion of my family and Singles Ward Bishop at home. I could not make a decision (shocking I know) and felt torn. Both choices had pros and cons. But I decide to follow the Matriarch of the family, and trust in her relationship with Heavenly Father and her inspirations. And guess what? Being home has been amazing. I knew it would feel great sleeping in my own bed, being with my puppies, having my mom around all the time again, being in my cute town, being ten minutes from the beach, having sun all day long, being within ten minutes of my family all around, and all the rest of the familiarities of home. But everyday, it feels more and more right. There is a peace in my heart, even amidst trials that come up at home, that I haven't felt for a long time. I feel inspired again. That's something I've been wanting and missing for so long. I've been homesick for my creativity and passion. It's not all the way back, but there's inklings of it rummaging around inside my mind and it's a welcomed feeling. Slowly I'm starting to become myself again. The new environment change has breathed a new fresh outlook into my life, and I'm excited to wake up everyday again. I've felt burden in my heart for so long, and though there are bits and pieces of heartache and loneliness still inside, I don't want to stay in bed all day. I want to live! I want to create! I want to love! So, from this day forward, I am living my new motto:

Come what may, and love it.

Elder Wirthlin gave that talk at General Conference. When I re-read the talk tonight, it felt like he was speaking right to me. He says...

"Every life has peaks and shadows and times when it seems that the birds don’t sing and bells don’t ring. Yet in spite of discouragement and adversity, those who are happiest seem to have a way of learning from difficult times, becoming stronger, wiser, and happier as a result. The Lord in His wisdom does not shield anyone from grief or sadness. For me, the Lord has opened the windows of heaven and showered blessings upon my family beyond my ability to express. Yet like everyone else, I have had times in my life when it seemed that the heaviness of my heart might be greater than I could bear. How can we love days that are filled with sorrow? We can’t—at least not in the moment. I don’t think we suppress discouragement or deny the reality of pain. I don’t think we smother unpleasant truths beneath a cloak of pretended happiness. But I do believe that the way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life. If we approach adversities wisely, our hardest times can be times of greatest growth, which in turn can lead toward times of greatest happiness.
Over the years I have learned a few things that have helped me through times of testing and trial:

- The first thing we can do is learn to laugh. The next time you’re tempted to groan, you might try to laugh instead. It will extend your life and make the lives of all those around you more enjoyable.

-The second thing we can do is seek for the eternal. You may feel singled out when adversity enters your life. You shake your head and wonder, “Why me?” But the dial on the wheel of sorrow eventually points to each of us. At one time or another, everyone must experience sorrow. No one is exempt. Learning to endure times of disappointment, suffering, and sorrow is part of our on-the-job training. These experiences, while often difficult to bear at the time, are precisely the kinds of experiences that stretch our understanding, build our character, and increase our compassion for others. Because Jesus Christ suffered greatly, He understands our suffering. He understands our grief. We experience hard things so that we too may have increased compassion and understanding for others. Remember the sublime words of the Savior to the Prophet Joseph Smith when he suffered with his companions in the smothering darkness of Liberty Jail: “My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; “And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.” Sometimes the very moments that seem to overcome us with suffering are those that will ultimately suffer us to overcome.

-The third thing we can do is understand the principle of compensation. The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude. One of the blessings of the gospel is the knowledge that when the curtain of death signals the end of our mortal lives, life will continue on the other side of the veil. There we will be given new opportunities. Not even death can take from us the eternal blessings promised by a loving Heavenly Father. Because Heavenly Father is merciful, a principle of compensation prevails.

-The fourth thing we can do is put our trust in our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. The Lord Jesus Christ is our partner, helper, and advocate. He wants us to be happy. He wants us to be successful. If we do our part, He will step in.
He who descended below all things will come to our aid. He will comfort and uphold us. He will strengthen us in our weakness and fortify us in our distress. He will make weak things become strong. “The simple secret is this: put your trust in the Lord, do your best, then leave the rest to Him.”

This is about the time when Kenny Loggins would start singing "Celebrate me home". I'm back! Welcome back Nicole, welcome back...