We all need saving

I've become quite the stuffer of emotions lately. My mom tells me I need to cry and get it all out, but I don't. It's so weird because I used to be so in tune with my emotions and used to wear them on my sleeve. But, I have become a cry hater. I don't know why...I just hate that feeling of my heart hurting when I cry. I think crying is important and kind of like a rainstorm...it refreshes everything, makes everything a little bit cleaner and brighter and helps you grow. But for me, when I let myself cry over my dad, it doesn't go away for a little while. It puts me in a funk. And I know that's incredibly ironic because the more I let myself cry, the better I'll be because I'll get everything out and start to heal.

Well, I don't know if it was the Spirit, my deep love for all things/songs Jon Mclaughlin, or my daddy quietly telling me "It's okay to cry baby girl, I'm still here..." but i had a lightbulb moment. All of a sudden I started humming the words to one of my all time favorite songs "We All Need Saving" by my boy Jon. (My boy Jon's song "Indiana" and Jason Reeves song "Pictures and Memories" got me through the death of my dear grandpa. I recommend both. Oh the freedom of music!) I remember driving to the hospital everyday to see my daddy and to sit by his side and hold his hand, and on the way there and the way home I would listen to this song and cry. So, I went onto my Itunes, listened to it, and sure enough...it still get me. And as I listen to the line "But please believe someone has felt this before", it reminds me that Jesus Christ feels this with me. He has felt every feeling. He knows the guilt I feel, the punch in my stomach, the sick to my stomach feeling, the realization when my shock's worn off, the pounding in my head, the moments I have a hard time remembering to breathe...and the constant ache in my heart. I must remember the Atonement and that I am never really alone. I have a remarkable family, dear friends who love and support me, and more than anything, I have a loving Heavenly Father, Temple work, and a Savior that cries when I cry and sings when I sing. Good news: the flood gates still work. Intimidating news: I have alot of emotional work to do. Silver Lining: I'm more ready that ever :)



Here's the lyrics:

Come on, come on,
You have got to move on
This is not the you i know
This isn't real
It's just all you can feel
And that's the way that feelings go

And whether or not it's right or wrong
You'll do what you will do
But when the cloud in the sky starts to pour in your life
Its just a storm you're braving
Well don't tell yourself
You can't lean on someone
Cause we all need saving
Sometimes

Say what you will
But the time that we fill
While we are on the earth
Should not be alone
We were meant to be known
You make me what i'm worth
But i can't keep you from yourself
You'll do what you will do

And i don't know
Why it has to be this way
And i don't know
The cure
But please believe someone else has felt this before